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Drinking an' Thinking
Theories: Chapter 1
Warnings: Alcohol, and a very bad attempt at humour.
Author's Notes: Um, sorry!! ;-) Also, there are no spelling mistakes in this - everything is meant to be spelt that way! Oh and the quick recovery at the end *can* happen, for those of you who are sceptical! *And* you're gonna need a bit of imagination for this.
Disclaimer: I don't make any money period so I'm sure as hell not making any money from this. I'm just borrowing the characters (from a whole list of people: MGM, Gekko Productions, etc.etc. I'm surprised these characters don't have major identity crises!) for a short while and I'll return them as soon as I'm done. Well, except for Daniel. I might ask him to stick around for a while.
Okay so this is good! I'm in love with Sam, and Sam's in love with Jack. Jack. My best friend Jack. Sam's my best friend too, of course. And Teal'c, but I'm not in love with Teal'c, I'm in love with Sam. My best friend Sam, or is that my best friend's Sam? Oooer, need_more_drink!!
Okay so, I'm in love with Sam, and the more I say it the more sense it makes. Which is good, yeah? No. Not good. Jack loves Sam. I know that for sure, he told me as much last week. That's what set all this off actually. He said he loved Sam; well, he came back from the fridge with more beer and said "I have these feelings for Carter. So who's winning the hockey?" and I started thinking about Sam. And thinking, and thinking, and....... More Drink!
I thought 'bout how worried I was when she'd been.... possessed? Yeah, possessed by that computer virus thingy. One minute she was Sam, next she was comatose, then she was Carrie without the tele.....teleki.....telekinetics-ish.... thingy, and then, then, she was dead. Killed. By Jack. I 'membered how I'd wanted to take that zat and, and, shoot him with it! Just the once. Not twice, like he'd done to Sam. Just the once, so he could feel some of the pain I was feelin'.
Yep, I think I was in love with Sam then! Ah, drink!
I realised there were loadsa times when I thought Sam was rather cool. When we were abducted by those aliens. Hehe, someone call Mulder! Uh? Oh. Abducted, yeah. Sam said Teal'c was a speech writer. A speech writer! Hehe. She was so calm. God she was beautiful! Huh? I didn't mean to say that. Well, I wouldn't have thought that then, would I? Onward! Or backward, since I'm working back through the past. Back to the Future!! No_more_T_V_ or_films_wit'_JACK!
When Martouf died, Sam wa'n't 'appy! She were upset and cryin' and trem'lin'. In my arms. On my couch. Then she were sleeping. In my arms. On my couch. I never wan'ed to let her go. I hated Marty for hurting her, even tho it wa'n't 'is fault. I wan'ed to take the pain away.
In my arms. On my couch. She looked beautiful. There's that word again! Geez Jackson, she were upset an' you're thinking that! Charmin'!
Scared. I woz scared. Sam was on the ship! The Asgard ship, with Thor. The Asgard ship, with Thor, and Jack and Teal'c that went bye-bye in Earth's atmos-thingy. I thort Sam wen' bye-bye wit' Asgard Jack, wit' Teal'c, and Thor, and Ship. Then Sam came back. We said 'Hi'. I fin'lly stopt shaking. Sam told me I sounded bit like Thor. How'd I sound like a ship? Oh, no, no, I 'member. Thor is this cool little grey alien guy. Teal'c is the ship. Anywayz, Thor came back, Sam wen' bye-bye 'gain an' I got re-met wit' scared. I woz totally in love wit' Sam then! How'd I miss that? Well, hel-lo Mr. Jackdaniels!! Duz any-un find that ironique?
I'm shure I wa'n't in luv wi'Sam when I wen' bye-bye. Concern'd yah! She di'n't rest after radio sick! She work, she alwayz work. Alwayz thinkin', tryin' 'o get m'back. I loved her for t'at. I_loved_her.
Oh God! Whaddiff I loved Sam while Sha'uri woz still.......NO! I refuss to b'lieve I woz in love wit' someone other than me wife whilst marri'd. Whad kinda guy duz that make you, Jackson? If I ever meet that guy I'm gonna slap sum sense into 'im!
Er, who's Jackson?
Maybe I've 'ad enuff drin'!
Ugh, who am I kiddin'? If I woz still in love with Sha'uri how come I jumpt into bed with Kira a coupla weeks after, eh? So much for the mourning widow......er. Widower. That's right, I'm a bloke, so wid-dow-wer.
Oh I know why! I wan'ed to, to get rid of those nasty Goa'uldy mem'ries. Hathor and Shyla and, an' Hathor, and Amounet. Amounet. Sha'uri. I did, do, do, luv Sha'uri, she just died a loooong time ago. To me anyway. Tragic. Jus' loik me. Tragic.
Shyla wa'n't a Gould! Okay she acted a bit loik 'un but she didn't have a snake head, a pesky snake in 'er 'ead. Hathor did though. Hathor used me. Used moi to make more snakes. Used me, just like I used Kira. Kira, woz Linea, the destroyer of worlds. At least she forgot what I did. Would the man who helpt Hathor turn Tau'ri into Gould slaves an' one of his bestest friendz into a Jaffa Cake then later used, ah wharever, pleez, with shugar on top, stand up?
Whoa, no standing! Just sit....uh, or collapse on the floor. Yeah much betterer. HOLY SHIT!!
She knew! Sha'uri knew! That kiss. She kissed me coz she knew. Even back then she could see it. Could see that as soon as we met we were, were.... attracted. To. Each. Other. Oh God, oh shit no! How many lives am I gonna screw up? Sha'uri, Skaara, Kasuf, Kawalsky, Shyla, Kira, Shifu, Steven, Sarah, the whole of Moscow - okay not real, but it felt real, it really did - and worse of all, Jack, Teal'c and Sam. Contin'ously. All I seem to do is get them in trouble, get them hurt, get them killed.
Nothin' like a major guilt trip to sober you up a lot.
The only reason I got through all of that was the support of my friends. Jack. Teal'c.
Sam.
And this, this is where I risk all that. Where I take a gamble on those friendships and hope that I bet right, that our friendships are strong enough to survive what I've realised. I'm sure they are, but then again, I'm not so sure of my instincts right now.
Y'see, my idea of being a friend means being honest. So the phone's in my hand and the number's already dialled. I'm sure she'll understand. She won't reciprocate, I know that, but she won't let it spoil our friendship either. She'll understand. I hope.
The machine picks up.....
"Sam, I realised something tonight and I wanted you to know, thought you had a right to know. I'm in love with you."
End.
Go to Theories, Chapter 2: Always >
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