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Hopelessly, Helplessly
Warnings: Post Divide and Conquer so Martouf fans may want to avoid - sob! Marty come back!
Author's Notes: I loved the character of Martouf so hated D and C for what it did. I don't think we ever saw the consequence of what this did to Sam so here I offer my resolution.
Disclaimer: Anything that is theirs, isn't mine.
Feedback: Yes please, feedback makes me glow (though not in the Danny sense).
Her screams woke him from his slumber and he was off the couch and across the floor to her bedroom in seconds.
Sam sat there sobbing, just waking from the nightmare images that still gripped her. Daniel gently approached her not wishing to add to her frightened state. He reached across and caressed her shoulder trying to gather her attention to him.
"Daniel" her voice a whisper as she realised that he was here in her bedroom late at night. Her memories of the day flooding back, of Daniel insisting on staying with her just like she had insisted on staying with him the day he lost Sha're.
He reached for her as he sat on the edge of the bed and she moved into his arms. Holding onto him like her life depended on it she was grateful for the friendship that enveloped her on contact with Daniel. It helped to wipe the images from her mind.
Not only was she living through the grief of losing Martouf herself but she also had to endure the images and memories from Jolinar. It was consuming her at night and today Daniel had come to her and told her that he knew what was happening, that he had been there himself. Part of her was horrified when Daniel insisted on staying tonight to help her deal with the nightmares that were threatening her sanity. But she realised that she needed help in battling this war.
Daniel felt Sam relax into his arms and he shifted slightly so that he could hold her more securely. Her head was pressed into his chest and he could smell her hair. It was then that he realised that this was the closest he had ever been to her. Partly lying here on her bed both of them in t-shirts and not much else. And yet it didn't feel weird it felt so right. She was one of the closest friends he had and yet they never seemed to have any time any more. That day that Martouf died he knew that something had happened between her and Jack and that damn Anise woman. It was frightening to him in so many ways. Not because he feared a relationship between them but because he feared what this would do to Sam.
Sam rested her head on Daniel's chest and listened to his heartbeat and let that sound comfort her. Tears welled in her eyes as yet another image of Martouf flashed before her. But she closed her eyes and concentrated on Daniel's heartbeat and how it made her feel. Safe, secure, always marking the passage of time. Each heartbeat was another second forwards, towards her future. A future that she hoped would be brighter, a future that would contain a love that would consume her and fill her life.
Shifting to one side she moved the blanket back and pulled Daniel under the covers with her. He hesitated for a moment then willingly slipped underneath.
"You better not have cold feet" he murmured and was rewarded with a small smile. Not once did Sam let go. The whole time she clung to him and as soon as he was settled she moved back so her head could rest on his chest.
Daniel lay there for a moment with Sam in his arms and it took all of his will power not to leave the bed. Not because he didn't want to be there but because he wanted to be there too much. His body cried out for one relief while his heart wanted another, but his mind told him that now was not the right time. He didn't know if there would ever be a right time for them but he wouldn't risk their friendship for anything.
Pulling her closer he felt her relax as sleep started to claim her. He couldn't resist the urge to gently kiss her on the forehead and he felt her grip tighten for a second.
Sam lay there counting the heartbeats to herself. The heartbeats of a friend that she loved more than words could describe. Daniel had always been there and she couldn't ever imagine life without him in hers somehow. Some days he was the best friend with advice and other days she could see something more there but despite there being chances to move closer he never took them. And she knew why. Because this friendship was worth more to him than the risk that he might push her away.
She sighed silently to herself as she realised that maybe nothing would ever happen but she knew that they would always be more than friends. A small snore disturbed her thoughts and she realised that Daniel had fallen asleep. Looking up she studied his face as he slept. For a second she was tempted to throw caution to the wind and kiss him, caress him, jump on him and.. okay that was not going to happen but for the first time she realised that she was smiling, really smiling.
Realising that she had managed to get past her nightmare for the first time in three weeks she snuggled back down into Daniels arms and let her friend's heartbeat soothe her to sleep.
The End
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