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Clouded Minds

Series Title: Chapter 2

Author's Notes: This is a sequel to Crimson Skies - if you haven't read it then you may get lost a little. It will probably make sense without reading Crimson Skies but it is archived at www.stargatesg1.org.uk if you want to read it.

As usual a big big thanks to Tk, my beta and extraordinary friend with a patience of a saint!! Crimson Skies was written in 3 months but Clouded Minds was begun in May..since then Tk has been on loads of cliff hangers. A huge round of applause for her encouragement over the past year and her ability to listen to me talk about my problems and always cheer me up!

Disclaimer: Judith and any others not recognizable from SG1 are mine, all others are the property of Stargate MGM and what I wouldn't give to own shares in them!! This is purely for fun (despite the headache it gives me trying to write the damn thing!)

Part One

Rain - Sam would always remember the rain. Heavy, thick, warm, suffocating.

As soon as they stepped through the gate they expected to be greeted by the Leaders of this peaceful race and yet all the met them was a drenching downpour. It was the type of rain that soaked to the skin in a few seconds, yet was warm. Within seconds the whole of SG1 were drenched and dripping.

"Oh great, just great" Jack moaned, "where's the welcoming committee?"

"Perhaps they decided to seek shelter O'Neil." Teal'c replied, the only one who didn't seem affected by the intensity of the rain.

"Which is what we should be doing, instead of standing around here Jack." Daniel said, glancing over to Sam to make sure she was okay.

She just happened to be glancing his way and their eyes met, love showing clearly. They both looked away quickly not wanting to tempt one another's thoughts. General Hammond had made it quite clear. He would not tolerate any change in SG1 dynamics just because two of its members were dating. In fact he had made it more than clear that if they even so much as hugged one another for warmth on a cold arctic planet, that he would break up SG1 faster than ice melting on the sun.

"Yeah okay Daniel" Jack said glancing around. His every sense was screaming at him and he knew that seeking shelter was the best thing to do. But there it was, the military side that was yelling that something was wrong. Very wrong.

Daniel started away from the gate, Teal'c close behind. But Teal'c turned, confusion crossing his face, his eyes gripped with Jack's confirming his fears. They weren't alone.

An explosion rocked them to their knees as suddenly they were engulfed by staff weapon fire. Diving for cover, Jack ended up behind the DHD as flashes of light cut through the rain, sizzling. Peering round he saw that Teal'c and Sam had also managed to find shelter but Daniel was more exposed.

"Down, stay down Daniel" Jack yelled "Teal'c can you see them, provide covering fire?"

Jack frantically scanned the tree lines trying to determine where the hell that weapons fire was coming from.

Teal'cs superb abilities cut in and he started returning fire, seconds later joined by Sam as she also provided fire using her sidearm.

This was getting far too dangerous as suddenly the air was filled with more explosions. Whoever was out there was determined. Jack then saw them coming, G'ouald troops moving slowly out from the trees, not just a handful but 50 or more! Hell this was an ambush, a goddam trap and they were sat here like sitting ducks.

Jack drew his automatic gun and waited, biding his time. Then he was up and hitting symbols on the DHD as fast as he could, dialling home. Within seconds the wormhole established and Jack sent his GDO signal through. Looking back, he drew his other weapon, a zat gun and started providing what cover he could.

Daniel had managed to crawl closer but that still seemed so far away now. Yelling at Sam and Teal'c to get back through the gate he tried to inch his way forward. To get to his friend.

The air seemed hotter now, staff weapon fire heating it and drying the rain before it hit the ground. Daniel was now less than 10 feet from the base of the gate. But now he was completely in the open, unprotected.

Jack turned and saw that Sam was refusing to move, crawling towards them, providing cover. She wasn't going anywhere without Daniel, not now. Teal'c ducked down behind the DHD providing what cover he could but it was no use.

Daniel looked up and met Jack's eyes, realisation of his situation written plainly across his face. Jack stretched out his hand in a vain attempt to bridge the gap that was between them and paid for it when a blast caught his arm. Rolling round trying hard not to scream, he heard Daniel's alarmed cry at seeing his friend injured.

"Daniel, no!" He cried seeing Daniel make a desperate attempt to get to him and then the world stopped.

Weapon fire crisscrossing.

Explosions deafening.

Time standing still.

Sam screaming.

An explosion caught Daniel and he wasn't there anymore. Jack frantically searched trying to find him and caught sight of his body laying face down in the mud. Blood seeping out from under him, mixing with the rain.

"Daniel!!" Sam was screaming, trying to go to him. The guards were nearly upon them. Jack turned, ran grabbing Sam and dived for the gate. She fought him, hard and he nearly couldn't hold on to her. But then Teal'c was there, lifting her weight from him.

"No, no, no!!" Sam couldn't believe it, he was there and they were leaving him "DANIEL!!!"

She saw him there, not moving and then she saw nothing else

Part Two

Sirens warned General Hammond that something was wrong. The only team off world were SG1 and they weren't due back for at least a day. His gut instinct kicked in and Hammond was in the gate control room watching the computer screen more intensely than the Lieutenant operating the gate controls.

"We're receiving a signal sir, it's SG1's"

There was silence as they watched the gate but no-one appeared. Seconds ticked by and Hammond's stomach tightened further. Taking the stairs he tried to enter the gate room in a calm manner but the fact was he was anything but.

More seconds ticked by and his nerves were too the point of breaking when the gate stirred and Teal'c, Sam and Jack tumbled through. Jack was yelling to close the iris, Teal'c had his arms wrapped about Sam who had sagged to the floor and the room was then quiet.

"Colonel.." Hammond started almost angry at SG1 for the lack of information he had but it was then he noticed how pale Jack was. Pale and sweating. 'Shock' his mind told him and it was then he noticed Jack's arm, burnt and bleeding. "Get medics in here now" he barked to no-one in general, knowing that it would be taken care of.

He approached Jack carefully and helped him to the ground, "It's okay help is coming Colonel." Looking around at Teal'c and Sam, he noticed that Sam was shivering, even Teal'c looked shocked, sat there trying to comfort Sam. "Colonel, " he started again gently "what happened?"

"Ambushed, they were waiting for us to come through." Jack breathed trying to control his reactions, trying to control the pain. 'Pain is an emotion and can be controlled' he kept telling himself, but it was starting to eat at him and his control was slipping. "G'ouald guards were waiting there sir. There was a lot of fire, some explosions." Jack took a breath trying to find a way to explain what had happened. How he had left his friend behind. "Daniel... he was hit and .. we couldn't get to him sir. I made the decision to leave." There it was out. His decision, his decision to leave Daniel behind. Not knowing if he was dead or alive.

General Hammond realised that Jack was in shock and feeling the worst guilt a commanding officer could. He moved to one side as Janet approached.

'Dear God' was the thought running through Janet's mind as she looked at Jack's arm 'I'm going to have to put him out before I can move him.'

General Hammond moved back over to Teal'c and Sam and knelt down in front of them. Teal'c held Sam close but she was rocking in his arms, her eyes wide and unseeing. Mumbling over and over "we left him, we left him.." her voice full of disbelief and hurt.

"Major.." Hammond tried "Sam.." his voice gentle barely a whisper as he touched her shoulder, trying to get her back to reality. But he realised that a harder approach was needed to bring the military person out.

"Major Carter!" he nearly bellowed "I need answers and I'm afraid that like it or not you are going to have to be the one to give them to me."

Sam stirred and managed to get to her feet, for the first time she seemed to notice that Jack was hurt and started towards him only to be stopped by Hammond. "Leave him for the moment Major and let the medics sort him out. You and Teal'c report to the briefing room now." Seeing hesitation on her face and confusion over what had happened he took his voice up one notch "NOW Major, that wasn't a request, that was an order."

"Yes Sir!" Sam let the military side of her take over and was pleased to let go of her emotions for the moment. Teal'c followed her out of the gate room and they both headed up to the briefing room.

Hammond watched them go pleased to see Sam more in control of herself, before joining them in the briefing room he wanted to know that Jack was going to be all right.

He turned to find Jack sedated and on a gurney ready to leave the gate room and watched as he wheeled out. Janet came up to him worry showing in her eyes.

"General, this is pretty bad, with our technology there isn't much I can do. He'll need to go to a severe burns unit and be treated there. He's looking at months of treatment and even at the end of that I don't think he will regain use of his hand." Janet always tried to be as honest as possible, there was no point sugar coating this.

"What about one of our allies, Doctor? Would any of them be able to help with this?" General Hammond asked, worry over the Colonel clearly showing.

"Yes several would probably have the technology but you know how some of them feel about sharing technology even the use of it. We could try the Tolan or the Mazo."

"The Mazo?" the General asked surprise showing on his face as he started to walk out of the gate room towards the briefing room "But I thought they needed our help with their own medical needs."

"Well as far as genetics is concerned they do, because that equipment was destroyed as part of their self punishment. But they do have some other sophisticated healing devices and this is probably something that they could heal quite easily."

The General thought about it for a moment "Okay Doctor you have my permission to contact them immediately and see if they can help."

"Yes Sir" Janet said and turned and started to make her way up to the gate control room to send that message.

Three hours later and the General was exhausted but he now had the full facts of what had happened on the planet. Teal'c and Sam had answered his questions and provided information efficiently but he could see both of them itching to get back to rescue Daniel.

"Okay you are both Dismissed for now. You are both too rest and in the meantime we will see if we can get anything from the MALP."

Sam started to protest "General, the longer we wait the worse for Daniel it will be we need to go back now."

"Major I understand your feelings but I'm not willing to let anymore people go through that gate until I know that they are going to be received in a more friendly fashion."

At that moment the sirens sounded. "Off world gate activation!"

Sam rounded the corner into the gate room at full speed her eyes full of hope. Maybe it was Daniel was all she could think.

"GDO signal being received - It's the Mazo, sir" the lieutenant's voice sounded in the gate control room.

"Open the iris" General Hammond commanded.

Sam watched with barely concealed disappointment as the iris slid back and as Ayesh and another stepped through the gate. Despite everything that had happened Sam had to smile at the look on Ayesh face as he took in these new surroundings.

Ayesh looked around at this new place and took in the new sights, sounds and smells before walking down to meet Sam, Teal'c and General Hammond.

Reaching the end of the ramp he bowed slightly to the General and then opened his arms and hugged Sam.

"We need the translation devices sir" Sam said turning to the General.

"I've already asked for them Major" the General turned round to find a lieutenant rushing into the room with a box and handed to Hammond.

Attaching the disks first to Hammond then herself and Teal'c Sam turned to Ayesh again. "Welcome Ayesh, welcome to our world."

"Your welcome is much appreciated Sam and pleased we are to be here." Ayesh turned to the young woman beside him "This is Mara and she brings the device that the Doctor requested. Mara can use it if you would like."

"Please" Sam turned and directed the lieutenant to take Mara to the infirmary.

Ayesh turned to the General "You are their leader?"

"I am" Hammond responded and introduced himself.

"I am Ayesh, and I thank you, Sam and Teal'c on behalf of my people for the help you have given us. Please where is Daniel so that I may thank him too."

Ayesh watched the pain flick across the faces and listened as the story of how Jack was hurt and Daniel lost was explained. As Teal'c described the surroundings of the gate and the nature of the attack Ayesh eyes betrayed an agitation and he started to pace slightly.

"You show me the symbols of this planet you visited." Ayesh urgently asked and the others were slightly shocked at his insistence.

In the gate room Ayesh looked at the computer screen and shook his head at the symbols that showed there. "This is bad, very bad you should not have gone there."

"What do you mean by that" Hammond demanded.

"The planet is run by a strong Gou'ald but one in which a genetic flaw exists. Her host seems to remains equally in control but the evil she inflicts is unspeakable. Even the system lords were frightened of her and too control what they did not understand they confined her and her people to this planet. They destroyed her ships and fitted a device to the gate that stopped her from leaving." Ayesh shook his head his eyes filled with sorrow as he spoke of the evil his people had helped create "Any other species would have destroyed this threat but they kept her safe in case they could use her. She is strong and has a control over people unlike that seen before."

"General" Sam started "we have to find Daniel, we can't leave him there any longer. Please let me return there."

"No, you cannot return" Ayesh protested "Too dangerous, far too dangerous"

"I agree Major" Hammond said "I'm sorry Sam but under no circumstances am I going to recommend a rescue mission to this planet. For the time being the co- ordinates are going to be locked out of the computer."

Part Three

Sam stood outside an apartment door trying to sum up the courage to knock.

Two weeks had gone by since returning from that planet and after consultation with the Tokra the dialling co-ordinates had been locked out of the computer for good. Sam had argued, gone over a hundred scenarios, begged and pleaded. Contacted the Tokra herself and despite everything they had gently told her that they wouldn't intervene. She had driven Jack and Teal'c mad with her insistence and they had tried over and over to get General Hammond to agree to a rescue mission but they hadn't been successful. Jack had slipped into a depression so deep that Janet had insisted that Sam leave him to rest. Sam had stepped back then and looked around herself at what was going on.

Jack had started to recover but still needed time for his hand to finish the healing process that had been started by the Mazo. He still needed painkillers to deal with some of the pain that he was experiencing but it was becoming more and more apparent that he blamed himself and no-one else. Sam had stood outside the infirmary one day listening to him arguing with Janet again, yelling out about letting his best friend down. It was then that Sam realised that no-one could heal until she got away and was strong again for them all.

Sam had requested some leave but then spent most her time trying to devise a way to get back to the planet. But so many things blocked her way and she realised that she couldn't do this alone. It was during this period of reflection that suddenly something came to her. And her heart filled with such sadness as she realised that there was someone she had forgotten about in all this grief.

"Sam?" a voice brought her back to her senses and she realised that Judith was stood there in the doorway looking at her with worry across her face. Sam tried to say something but her voice caught in her throat and the tears that she had managed to block for the past few weeks started to spill their way down her face.

"Oh Sam, no!" Judith's face filled with pain as the realisation hit about why Sam was there. She stepped forward and embraced Sam, holding her, rubbing her back as Sam sobbed into her arms "I'm so sorry Judith, I'm so sorry.."

Judith held Sam and was shocked to feel her trembling, and the shaking was only getting worse. Leading her into the apartment she sat her down and drew a blanket around her shoulders. Sitting next to her she resisted the temptation to pull her close and rock her like a child. Judith felt the pain inside and knew only too well what Sam was going through and she knew that this was something that Sam needed to experience for her sanity's sake.

A small while and several tissues later and Sam had finally run out of tears to cry. After a while Sam had started talking, explaining what had happened. Judith had listened, a few tears running down her face, but all the time just listening. When Sam had finally stopped and just stared into the distance Judith stood and walked into the kitchen and returned with a couple glasses of wine and handed Sam one.

"You couldn't have done anything different Sam" Judith said softly.

"How can you say that!" Sam responded almost violently "You weren't there, I should have tried harder.."

"Sam." Judith quiet voice interrupted her "look at me" Judith waited until Sam was looking her in the eyes "You and me haven't had any time to get to know one another. I don't know how much Daniel told you about my past, our past. But I lost my husband in a way that makes me understand exactly what you are feeling. I've done this, I've been here and I told myself that if I hadn't screamed, if I hadn't cried out, if I had just let everything happen without a word that Marcus would still be there. But he wasn't and never will be here again and nothing I can do now will change that. You cannot change the past whatever you say now." Judith took a breath and for a second the madness that had visited after Marcus had died reared up again and she remembered those feelings that had consumed her "Trust me, torturing yourself will bring you nothing but misery and destroy everything and everyone around you before you know it."

"Is that what happened with you?" Sam asked gently

"It almost did, but then a young friend who had a habit of being far too pushy for his own good made me realise what I was doing. Daniel helped me see that I was not just hurting myself with my self torture. He helped me learn how to heal." Judith tried hard not to let her pain at that time show through.

Sam's eyes closed together as the pain inside swelled again. "We had an argument two days before the mission....about you."

Judith was visibly shocked, "Why? What happened?"

"I wanted to know more about what had happened to cause you to drift apart. He told me so many stories about his time with and Marcus and from what he said I could tell that you had been close but he wouldn't go into any more detail." Sam paused and looked into Judith's eyes waiting to see if she was reacting badly to this. Seeing only a calm look she continued "I know that Marcus was killed, but I know there is something else there and I wanted to know what he knew. I know that might not make sense but I needed to know more, to understand him completely. And to re-assure myself, that we had no secrets, that we could tell one another anything. I should have respected his wishes not to talk but there are so many things he clams up about recently."

Judith reached over and touched Sam on the arm to stop the painful memories that were once again resurfacing.

"Sam, I am so sorry that I caused trouble between you and Daniel. And it makes me mad with Daniel that he would be that goddam honourable that he wouldn't discuss this with you." Judith saw the puzzlement in Sam's face and carried on "Sam the reason Marcus died was because he was trying to stop one of the rebels raping me. Daniel helped me recover and for a while he was the only thing that kept me going. We became close, very close. The closest friends can become without there being more and it shook me that I had become that close to someone so soon after Marcus' death. So I pushed him away. Told him that I had to get my life back and that he must do the same." Judith shook her head and stood up "Damn him he must of thought that I wouldn't want him to discuss this with you. I'm sorry Sam but he shouldn't have done that. You should come first now and when I see him next I'll make sure he understands that. Its stupid so stupid!"

Sam walked over and stood next to Judith "Judith I'm so sorry, I never meant to bring those things up again. I just.." Sam stopped as Judith's last words started to sink in "You think he's alive." She whispered.

"I feel it, just like you do." Judith turned tears shining in her eyes "He's alive and he's out there, I know you feel that too."

Sam nodded "It's just like that time we thought he was dead, and I knew, I just knew he was alive. I feel him, I feel him so much. Like he's a part of me."

Judith moved over to the table and sat down. Taking out a pen began drawing out an area. "I think what we need is to combine forces." She looked over to Sam, smiling. "You and me take on SGC and see if we can find a way to get him back."

Sam took a breath, relief flooding her as the realisation that she had found someone to fight this with.

Two weeks earlier...

Part Four

Several hours had passed and it had grown dark outside. Sam and Judith had now sketched out a good deal of the area on the planet they had lost Daniel on and Sam had described as much about the planet and culture that they had previously gathered. She gave Judith Daniel's latest journal which he always kept. In it he had recorded all his observations on the planet.

Judith sat and read through it making more notes, her eyes growing sad as she could almost hear Daniel's voice as she read his handwritten thoughts. After a moment she lowered the book and let her mind wander as she tried to put the facts together in her mind. From what Sam had told her and backed up by Daniel's journal, Judith knew that she could communicate with the people on the planet. The Maza had said that a Goauld was in place there but considering that everyone they had met had spoken not Gouald but an Egyptian dialect she was sure that the force in place there probably spoke that language too. Which meant that she, Judith, could probably fit in. Daniel's journal described a civilisation of traditional standards, dress and code. Again she knew that she could fit in, her long dark hair particularly suitable. However, Sam on the other hand would need a cover story. From all the descriptions in Daniel's journal, women with short hair wouldn't be appropriate, and then there was also the language problem...

Judith sighed, closing her eyes and relaxing her mind. Tomorrow she would face that problem, she needed rest before talking to the others at SGC.

Opening her eyes she noticed that Sam had fallen asleep in one of the chairs, worry still on her face even in sleep. Judith crossed over to her and gently wrapped a blanket over her before walking over to a window and looking out at the night sky.

Staring hard at the stars Judith tried to imagine what Daniel was going through, where he was. Turning back to look at Sam she heard herself say "We're coming Daniel, we're coming, don't give up." Judith sighed, to love and lose was the hardest thing to experience and Sam and Daniel had both coped with more than their fair share of loss. Daniel and Sam had found one of the deepest kinds of love within all that pain they had experienced, and now fate seemed to be working against them again. Well it was time to take fate into their hands again.

Teal'c stood watching the stars on top of the mountain. Closing his eyes briefly he thought of home - Chulak and breathed in deeply. Opening his eyes he stared hard at the stars and tried to reflect back on the years that had brought him here.

Many people had influenced his life - most not for the better. But there were others that had touched his life in such a way to not only change his life but to change his way of thinking. Bra'tac his friend and the person who he considered his father had influenced his life in so many ways and had opened his eyes to the truth of the Gouald. He had helped set his mind free. Then there was O'Neill who had helped set his body free. He had not only saved those prisoners that day but Teal'c himself. It had prompted him into a decision that had torn his family apart and caused them much grief. But he was now free to undo any damage that he had done and his family was safe.

His conscience that had been plagued for so many years was now becoming clearer. He could finally ease the guilt that had plagued him silently for years. It would never go completely but while he could he would make a difference with the help of SG1 and the SGC.

Teal'c turned to go back into the mountain - a place that he had called home for nearly 5 years now. But right now that home was unsettled and his new 'family' was parted, and hurting. He had watched Major Carter fight to return to the planet, watched the pain that was barely visible on General Hammond's face as he turned down request after request.

And then there was O'Neill. The person who Teal'c owed so much too who was confined to the infirmary and slowly being destroyed by guilt. Teal'c understood that guilt. The guilt of sacrificing someone to save others. Making the decision to leave someone behind and he knew the unbearable pain that it caused. They were men trained to fight and hide all emotions no matter what, bottle it up, swallow it down and never let it show. And that's what O'Neill was doing. Denying his pain, suppressing what he felt so he could do his duty.

Teal'c had stood there one day, out of sight while O'Neill argued with Doctor Frasier, demanding to be released. Using anger to cover the emotions he was feeling. But then the façade had dropped just for a second when Janet had reached out to stop the onslaught that was coming from him. His eyes had met hers and for a second the pain was there "He was my friend and I left him to die. It was all my fault". But as Janet tried to comfort him the mask slipped back into place and there was coldness there as once again he detached himself from the pain and refused to face it.

Teal'c stepped into the elevator to take him back into the SGC. For the first time in a while he felt tired. He was finding it harder to meditate and reach Kel-no-reem. He felt the loss of Daniel Jackson but it wasn't possible for him to discuss it with anyone. On Chulak this would be a time for celebration of moving onto a higher existence and to remember the deeds that they had accomplished together. But with Major Carter refusing to believe that Daniel Jackson was dead and O'Neill off limits, Teal'c was spending more time watching the stars and remembering the past.

Judith and Sam stood just outside the Cheyenne mountain complex - not sure how to proceed.

"He's not going to be happy" Sam said.

"I've been here before and if I remember correctly he threatened to bust Colonel O'Neill down to a private" Judith smiled "Jack shrugged it off - joking!"

Sam smiled "That sounds like the Colonel. And General Hammonds bark is a hell of lot worse than his bite."

"That maybe but after the last time I was officially thanked for my help, made to sign a secrecy contract and told not to approach the base again without PRIOR permission." Judith looked over to the entrance again "He's most definitely not going to be happy."

Sam took a breath and started to walk towards the tunnel "Well we aren't going to find out how pissed he's going to be stood here."

"WHAT?!"

The lieutenant holding the phone visibly jumped and removed the receiver from his ear. Looking over he saw both Sam and Judith looking at one another smiles on their faces.

General Hammond sat there in his office phone to his ear his face flushed slightly red. And yet despite his anger at Major Carter bringing a certain civilian back to his base a small smile crossed his face. He knew what he was in for. Sam had gone and gotten herself backup and that meant that she was starting to think a little more sensibly.

"Lieutenant - please issue Dr Leone with a temporary pass and let Major Carter escort her to my office immediately."

General Hammond replaced the received and nodded to himself - so they were here to gang up on George. Well, that was often how the best plans were made, you never know they might actually have something.

Sam felt her heart start to sink as the elevator followed suit but she felt a hand on hers. Looking over she took comfort in Judith's eyes. They hardly knew one another. But they had a common goal and Sam felt drawn to trust her and she knew it was because of the part of Judith that reminded her of Daniel.

They had a plan - not much of a plan but it was a damn site better than any others that they had come up with and on the way up here they had gone over it in fine detail. Sam took a breath and gathered the enormous strength that she knew she had. She was strong and she could achieve this.

Part Five

Perhaps, perhaps mused General Hammond. That small spark of hope that burns within us all and then something fans it and it starts to burn a little brighter. Hope that can bring relief to a burdened heart only to be dashed seconds later. Hope - the best and worst thing to experience.

In the time it took for Major Carter and Judith to descend to his office George went from hope to despair back to hope without his outward demeanour ever changing. Sending them off world was the worst thing. When it was sending troops into another country at least you felt that you still had some control. But to another planet. Part of him still couldn't get to grips with that part. They stepped through that metal ring and they were no longer on this planet. Gone. Out of his control and whenever one of them died off world it was all that more impossible to believe. Unreal. He couldn't ever visit the battleground where his men had fallen, he could never touch the soil of the planet that had claimed them. The part of him that was religious sometimes wondered if their spirits could find their way home. But the military part dismissed that. A man in conflict. But you would never know from looking at him. He was solid, determined, the rock that was always there for them. For the ones that did return.

The knock at the door brought him back to his senses.

"Come in"

Sam and Judith walked in both with the air of hesitancy that accompanies children facing punishment. It took all of his effort not to smile but to keep his stern look on his face.

Both of them stood there waiting for him to talk first.

"Major Carter I presume that there is a damn good reason why you've disobeyed one of the most important standing orders of this base. Whether Dr Leone has been here before or not is not an issue. She is still a civilian and someone who does not have clearance for this base." Turning his attention away from Sam before she had a chance to answer he addressed Judith.

"Judith, it's a pleasure to see you again, please have a seat." Hammond said enjoying the looks of surprise on both of the women's faces. He waited until Judith was seated before continuing. "I hope that you don't take this wrong way but you understand why I have problems with this situation."

"Of course General Hammond." Judith said her mind whirring.

Hammond turned his attention back to Sam who was still stood to attention behind Judith. "Well Major do you have an explanation to this situation?"

"Sir I do have an explanation." Sam responded "While on leave I realised that Dr Leone had not been informed of the loss of Dr Jackson. While presenting her with the facts of the mission, Dr Leone felt that there was a plan that had not been considered and wished to discuss this with you in person."

"And the reason that both of you forgot about a device called the telephone?"

"I'm sorry General that was my fault" Judith said "I felt that a direct approach was the best cause of action here."

"A frontal assault?" Hammond queried and this time just a hint of a smile was in his voice. Looking at where Sam was still stood to attention he indicated the chair "Take a seat Major." Sam moved forward and sat down never taking her eyes of off Hammond.

"So you have a plan, the two of you? And would you care to share this now?" Hammond asked.

Judith looked over and nodded to Sam. Who produced some sheets and started to explain.

After a while Hammond stopped her.

"Let me get this right. What you are talking about sounds like a full out attack on this planet. We've already been there with this idea Major. It won't work."

Judith leant forward in her chair. "No it won't but that's exactly what we want. Send through one or two teams. Let them create as much smoke and chaos as possible. Then they leave. Dial out and go."

Hammond started to nod. "I see and during this diversion I presume something else will be taking place."

"While everyone is centred on what we want them to see, Sam and I will slip through. Dressed in native clothing we could make it too one of the wooded areas to the west of the gate in about 2 minutes. Then when the teams return we will be left there, to integrate ourselves into the society and find out exactly what happened to Daniel."

"This sounds like an incredible risk to take. And how do you plan to integrate yourselves into that society."

Sam leant forward and placed Daniel's journal on the desk "With the help of this. Daniel left us a lot of clues about this civilisation. Judith has read through his journal and believes that she will be able to integrate successfully into their society. What's more she's never been seen on the planet by any of the inhabitants. The same is for me. Only Jack, Daniel and two other members from SGC went through to the planet on the first mission. Teal'c and I were on a separate mission then."

"However you don't speak the language Major and you would be left without a means to understand the locals, let alone talk to them."

Sam looked back at Judith a small smile on her face "True I wouldn't be able to talk to them, but we do have an idea about the other."

For about the hundredth time Jack was having the usual discussion with Janet about leaving the infirmary.

"Doc....come on. I must be driving you fairly nuts by now and I know that the feeling is mutual here. Let me outta here?"

Janet took a deep breath and tried to remind herself that there were benefits to being a doctor in the SGC. "You will be pleased to hear Colonel that I don't intend to keep you here for much longer." Removing some of the dressings from his hand she was pleased to note that the skin had completely healed. "An hour or two more then you will be allowed to leave here as long as I have your assurance that you will take it easy. Though the skin is now completely healed there is still tissue damage underneath. The Mazo assure me that this will heal, however the pain will persist for a while. And the healing process won't complete unless you give it the time needed. That means only light duties for the moment Colonel."

Looking at the face that he was now pulling Janet realised that this was not something that he was going to take seriously "I mean it Colonel if I hear that you are over doing it in any capacity I will confine you to the infirmary."

"Someone giving you a hard time Doc?"

Janet turned round and smiled. "Judith, nice to see you again. And looking a lot better than last time." Judith winced remembering how she had only just made it back to earth before collapsing from breathing difficulties. The treatment the Mazo had performed on her had worn off seconds before stepping through the gate. And she had suffered another bout of anaphylactic shock due to the planet's atmosphere.

"Yes - and it's lovely to see you without needing your wonderful life saving treatment!" Judith joked.

Looking over to Jack, Judith was shocked by how pale he was."Janet do you mind if I take Jack here for a walk? I promise I will make sure he doesn't over exert himself"

Janet turned round and approached Jack "Okay but not for too long and he will have to wear this attractive sling for the time being."

"Oh for cry.." Jack started then seeing both Janet and Judith facing him with stern looks he relented "Okay I'm going to give up right there. I'm outnumbered. Besides I get to leave. Go outside. Not be in the infirmary."

As they left the infirmary Jack found Sam waiting for them outside. All of a sudden Jack didn't want to be there and he made to turn around. He still couldn't look Sam in the face.

"We are all going to have to talk sometime Jack" Sam's gentle voice touching him to the core "I don't blame you and you should stop blaming yourself too." Jack whipped round ready to argue but was shocked at the determination and anger on Sam's face "You don't think I know how you feel Jack? But I do. And you made the right choice. What good would we do Daniel if we all died on that planet. Or if we had been captured."

The pain in Jack intensified as the whole day started to flood back to him again. Sam reached out and took his arm to steady him. "Sam you talk as if he's still alive."

"I believe that he is Jack. And what's more we have a go from General Hammond to try and find out."

Jack's head whipped back up his eyes suddenly alert. "Tell me more."

Judith walked up to them "Why don't we go outside and get some fresh air then we can explain what we had in mind"

Seven days later and they all stood there in the gate room waiting for the gate to activate.

Judith and Sam stood there garbed in clothing very similar to the type worn on the planet. While Jack and Teal'c were both in charge of a two teams. Jack was still supposed to be on light duties but was allowed to go, his hand in a special protective stocking. When the plan had been explained to him he had been horrified and had at first not wanted to be a part of it. But eventually he understood that this was the best and only hope for finding out what had happened to Daniel.

As the blue light filled the room, Jack turned to look at Sam and Judith and nodded to them.

Sam turned to Judith "You sure?"

"No doubt - you?"

"Never."

"Teams ready?" yelled Jack "okay lets go." The two teams piled through the gate, guns and weapons drawn.

Sam and Judith moved up to the wormhole and waited. Sam looked at her watch and waited. Waited for the voice that would tell them when.

She looked back over the Judith who smiled at her. "You might want to get it off your chest now Sam. You aren't going to be able to talk for however long we are on that planet, we won't be able to take that risk. And after we step through that gate I won't be able to speak English. If I was you I would take a deep breath and have a damn good yell."

Sam smiled and shook her head "I'll have that yell when we get back. It will give me something to look forward too."

Sam looked back at her watch "Should be any moment now."

As if he read her mind suddenly Colonel O'Neill's voice could be heard over the speakers. "Now Major, get your butt through this gate."

Taking Judith's hand Sam turned to her once more "Ready?"

"Lets go before I change my mind" and with that they stepped through.

Part Six

Teal'c emerged from the gate read, prepared to fight. Followed closely by Jack and the rest of the two teams. Like they had practised before, they set up in positions providing cover for each other and waited.

Jack tried to remain focussed and scanned the forest edge in front of them to see if there was any movement. But his eyes kept being drawn back to where he had last seen Daniel and it took all of his training to bring himself back to the mission.

Movement caught his eye and using his binoculars Jack could see a regiment of G'ouald soldiers taking up positions around the wooded edge. They were obviously trying to decide why they were there and weren't going to make a move before then. Nodding to Teal'c the next part of the plan was put into motion.

Teal'c and two members of his team started down towards the path that would take them towards the town. Other members of both teams set up covering positions behind them.

This was it - the bait was being put out in the open.

Watching the enemy closely Jack held the radio close to his mouth so that he could give warning to his teams. It wasn't long.

Suddenly he spotted the Jaffa taking up their weapons and bringing them round to fire. Barking an order into the radio, Jack was pleased to see Teal'c and his team take cover as the firing began. Almost immediately the troops of SGC returned fire.

Jack pulled out the gas grenades that he had and rolled them as far as he could. The other members of his teams followed suit and soon the area was obscured in a fake fog with bright flases of fire lighting it.

Switching frequencies on the radio Jack spoke as calmly as he could despite the fear that was now nagging at him "Now Major, get your butt through this gate."

Turning he watched as moments later Judith and Sam staggered through. For a second they were all illuminated by the blue light then the gate shut down. Sam ran around to the DHD and immediately dialled the co-ordinates for Earth. As soon as the wormhole had connected she sent her GDO signal through then handed her GDO over to Jack.

During this Jack had approached Judith and watched her intently to make sure that she wasn't going to have a reaction to the air like she had before. Judith moved over to him smiling her reassurance then held him close in a brief hug before the wormhole engaged.

Checking once more that the wooded area to the west was still clear as possible Jack indicated to Sam to make their move. His eyes never left them until they disappeared into the fog. His heart beating wildly at their retreating forms as he felt such fear at never seeing them again.

"O'Neill we must retreat as soon as possible. The troops will be upon us shortly." Teal'c's voice brought him back to his present position.

Calling for them to retreat Jack waited until there was just him and Teal'c left. Staff fire pierced the waning fog earily lighting the area and making the situation even more unreal.

"Good luck" Jack whispered before he and Teal'c turned and stepped through the gate.

Sam and Judith ran as close to the ground as they could. Weaving their way to the tree line Judith realised that she wasn't as fit as she thought she was. Panting as they stopped behind the first row of trees they encountered she swore silently that when they returned she was joining a gym.

Looking over to Sam she saw her concerned look and realised that her breathing would give Sam serious worry.

"I am fine" she said struggling only slightly with the language she was trying to pronounce. "Can you understand me?" she said moving closer to Sam so that she would have a better chance of understanding her. Sam nodded then turned to check that they were indeed safe for the time being. They could tell when the gate shut off and the blue light no longer lit the area. The flashes of staff weapons diminished and silence started to return to the area. Sam pointed trying to make Judith understand that they needed to move deeper into the forest quickly. They were going to be found sometime and they needed to be as far away from the gate as possible.

Hurrying through the woods Sam automatically found her hand reaching up and touching the small scar behind her ear that had only just started to heal.

After about half an hour they heard a noise in the forest and realised that the search for any SGC troops was approaching their location. Sam indicated that they should turn around and start back as if they were making their way to the city.

Judith tried to walk as if nothing was the matter and this was just another day out, but her fear of running into these "enemies" was almost overpowering.

They could hear the troops approaching and weren't surprised when two guards approached them weapons drawn.

Judith drew herself up and stood tall trying to look down on the guards in front of them. "What is the meaning of this" she asked in a harsh tone. And watched as the guards frowned at her. Fear gripped her as she waited to see if she had been understood. If she was wrong about their language this would be a short mission.

"Who are you," one of the guards asked, "and why are you out hiding in the forests?"

Breathing a small sigh of relief Judith stepped towards the guard anger forming on her face. "We have come from the town west of here and are heading towards Garni to seek shelter. And I do not like the tone with which you address me" Judith knew that her clothing was that of an important worker and in this society would be respected by lower classed people like soldiers. "I think that you had better escort me to your master so that I may enquire about your punishment for this insolence."

Turning she gestured at Sam to follow her and she started to march through the forest followed by Sam and the two guards who were now slightly worried at their situation.

As they walked Sam tried to shake of the feeling of nausea that gripped her. From the moment Judith started to talking she found herself assaulted by dizziness as her brain tried to distinguish between the sounds it was hearing. When the guard had started to talk it had just aggrievated the situation. She heard both languages and distortion mixed together and the device she had implanted was wreaking havic with her inner ear. She knew that she couldn't pass out now and since the guards and Judith had stopped talking it was certainly easier to shake off this feeling. She had experienced some problems back on base but this was much worse. And soon they were going to be mixing with a lot of people. Sam felt sick even thinking about it.

Concentrating on allieviating the feelings she let her mind wander back to Judith's apartment several days ago.

Sam was brought back to reality as they entered the town. More sounds and voices assaulted her and the nausea doubled. She stumbled slightly and felt Judith's hand steady her as she took her arm and led her through the chaos of a busy market place. The sights and sounds seemed overwhelming and colours seemed to be brighter. The hot sun pulsed down on her and she felt herself slipping. And then it went dark.

When she woke they were inside and she was lying on a hard surface. She felt the cool stone beneath her cheek and it felt great. As she moved she realised that she was alone in a big room on a marble bench.

Standing she moved to the window and realised that some time had passed. The market was quieter and people moved around slower in the hot afternoon sun. As she walked back around the room she noticed the incredible decoration of the walls. Markings and writings decorated every surface.

The sound of the door opening made her jump and she turned as Judith walked back into the room escorted by several guards.

Speaking quite loudly Judith walked upto Sam "Are you recovered?"

Sam nodded. Her mind racing, a thousand questions right there but unable to ask them.

"Then our audience is requested. Come." Judith ordered and turned to leave again.

Walking down a dark corridor towards a big hall Sam tried to make eye contact with Judith. She was relieved when Judith looked across and managed a small nod of the head. Judith was happy that everything was safe here and Sam felt guilty that she hadn't been able to help assess the situation. She was the military person and passing out was embarrassing to her.

As they walked into the big hall voices assaulted her again, but the nausea was less. Concentrating hard she found that she could now ignore most of what her ears were hearing.

In the middle of the room towards the back a woman was dressed in silver and white with an elaborate headdress. She watched the two arrivals with mild interest. Judith walked partway towards her and Sam followed. The guards stopped blocking their progress and waited until the woman rose gesturing for the guards to step aside.

Judith kept her eyes down and Sam followed suit remembering what Judith had told her about how to behave. The woman approached slightly and said something that Sam couldn't quite make out.

Judith stepped forward and spoke in a clear voice.

"We are honoured that you have granted us an audience my queen. My name is Judia and this is my maid Sanrina, we have travelled far in the hope of gaining knowledge."

The woman stepped closer and Sam could just make out her words "An honourable ambition. Tell me more about yourselves" she stepped up to Sam and stroked her face and then ran her fingers around to Sam's short hair. "Especially this unusual girl of yours. Did she offend you greatly for you to remove her hair."

"We have travelled far for many months as I have learned more about language for my people in my city. But Sanrina suffered badly. Four months ago she suffered a terrible fever, and blood sickening. It was many days until it passed and then only after she had been cut off her hair and immersed in cool water." Judith now carefully observed the woman who she had been told was queen of this city. She moved slowly almost snake like. And she scared the hell out of Judith.

"We had the same fever two years back in this city. It killed many people and those it touched and survived were never the same." The queen said moving over to Judith and gently touching her arm running her fingers down to her hand. "Does she suffer loss to her tongue and ears?"

Judith nodded "And weakening of limbs. I had thought of leaving her behind however, she knows my ways." Judith tried not to sigh in relief as the queen moved back up towards her throne.

Sam watched the woman walk away and part of her inside breathed easier. The woman was a G'ouald, Sam had felt that the instant she had come close to her. It had taken all of her training not to back away, but to stand there and act subservient.

A door opened to the left and movement caused Sam to look over. Right there and then it nearly all was over as she fought to keep her reactions under control. She nearly cried out as Daniel walked into the room, unhurt, healthy and crossed over towards the queen. Sam waited for him to notice her and Judith. It could all be over then if he didn't control his reactions. Besides her Judith barely trembled as she watched as Daniel slowly approached the queen.

"Mother" he said quietly and lowered his eyes slightly before the G'ouald.

"Ankh-hori, welcome our guests here. Judia and her maid Sanrina - they travelled far to learn more of our language and ways."

Daniel turned to look at them. Judith and Sam held their breaths as he looked them over but disappointment burnt in Sam's chest and her eyes started to fill with tears as she realised that there was nothing in his eyes. His face was blank and cold.

"Welcome to our city." He said before taking a seat besides their enemy.

Part Seven

Sam followed Judith down the corridor her heart beating wildly as she tried to suppress the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks.

Daniel had come into that room and there hadn't been a spark of recognition there. He had sat and talked quietly to his "mother" now and again and it became quite obvious that the audience was at an end. They had been offered a room for a night or two but Judith had quite forcibly refused and they had left.

Sam's head was a whirl and she so badly wanted to talk but this wasn't an option now. The guards escorted them to the main entrance where Judith turned and briskly thanked them before turning to sweep off across the market. Stopping briefly to ask a quiet question to one of the locals Sam had to keep a fast pace to keep up with her.

Within minutes she would have been lost if it wasn't for her military precision. Judith swept down one maze of buildings to another heading for a destination unknown.

Stopping by a door with a marking next to it Judith stepped back and indicated Sam should knock. An elderly woman answered and noting Judith's clothing bowed her eyes slightly in respect.

Sam understood little of the conversation as it was uttered so fast. But she could understand enough to realise that Judith was trying to procure them a room for the next couple of weeks. Taking some of the a small bag of a precious metal that they had procured on earth before leaving the deal was down.

Soon they were in a room, the quiet closing in. It was spacious and well decorated but most important it was private. Judith turned her eyes now filling with tears as well and the charade was at an end for a while.

In a quiet whispered voice Judith started to explain why she had left though she didn't dare speak in English she did whisper in case they were seen. "I'm sorry Sam, I'm sorry that I couldn't explain before dragging us out of there."

Sam couldn't speak openly for fear of someone watching but she drew Judith close and mouthed back the one word on her mind "Why?"

Judith went over to a stone alcove and Sam followed sitting next to her. "While you were unconscious I over heard a conversation in another language. One that the people of this planet aren't supposed to know. It was G'ould."

Seeing Sam's look of annoyance Judith continued, "I know, I'm not supposed to know much of that language but Daniel liked having someone to talk to about it. I couldn't make out everything just enough to know that they wanted to keep us there under some kind of surveillance. They don't trust our story as much as we would have liked."

Sam took Judith's hand and squeezed hard trying to convey her feelings this way. This mission had just become much harder.

"When Daniel walked in that room and I realised that he didn't recognise us I had to leave. We weren't prepared for this Sam. We must stick to our cover story even more closely."

Sam stood and walked to the window of the room and looked out onto the narrow alley below. One month. That's all they had. A small piece of jewellery Judith wore hid a transmitter that was good enough for one GDO signal. But if they didn't return within a month it would be locked out of the computer. A month to not only help Daniel remember but to get him off this planet without them all being killed.

Sam looked back over to Judith who was lost in thought. They could leave now and report what they knew and ask for support now they could confirm he was alive. But that wasn't going to happen. Neither of them was going to leave without Daniel unless it was absolutely necessary.

Sam didn't realise that she would later regret that decision.

Jack stood watching the sky as two planes streaked across. The sky was so blue an amazing shade. All he could think of was his friends who weren't there. Friends he couldn't help. He didn't hear the General approach until he cleared his throat.

Years of training came into play and he didn't jump, though his heart rate increased. Turning round Jack realised that he couldn't remember the last time that he had seen the General in daylight. And despite the light hearted jokes that could have easily sprung to his lips his eyes belied the pain that he was feeling.

"I'm sorry Jack. I will understand if you want to request a leave of absence."

"I thought that they would have come back. It never occurred to me that they wouldn't."

The General stood there not knowing quite what to say "We gave them a week longer. But we had to do it. As of 1 hour ago their GDO was locked out of the computer."

Jack turned back to look at the sky "Five weeks. They're not coming back sir, I know that now."

"It's not your fault Jack." General Hammond stood there for a moment longer before turning and returning back to the SGC.

"Yes sir, yes it is." Jack said quietly to no-one.

The room was still dark when Sanrina awoke. Her internal clock had now adjusted to the time to rise and she wasn't surprised to see Sala rising from her bed and coming over to her. The other servants in the palace had taken her under their wings almost lovingly. Her disability made her easy prey for some of the nastier courtiers that they had to deal with and they now always tried to make sure that someone kept her company.

Her shortened hair had now grown in the six months since her arrival and Sala had taken great pleasure in plating beads into it as soon as it had grown a few inches. Sanrina crossed over the room and removed her tunic from the niche they kept their clothes in. Slipping it on she moved silently out into the hallway and joined the others on their way to the kitchens to start the preparation.

When they reached the kitchens laughter and song started as the day began. The smooth co-operation between the women was seamless as the preparation of food was carried out. Here lack of hearing or voice were not a hindrence to a task. Suddenly one of the girls dropped a tray of fruit the clatter making the women all jump, except for Sanrina who carried on unaware.

An hour or more had passed when a gentle tap on her shoulder brought Sanrina round to face one of her friends who talked slowly to her. Sanrina understood and left quickly heading for the upper levels.

She was needed in one of the private chambers and this was not a summons to be delayed. Usually one of the others would accompany her but this morning there was no-one else.

Reaching the upper level she was met by a male servant who ushered her towards another room.

Entering she noticed that it was Ankh-hori's rooms and that he lay sleeping on his bed. For a second she watched and appreciated the bare back that faced her. Walking quietly round she looked at his face and felt emotions stir inside that she had kept buried for the past few months. Turning around she closed her eyes and concentrated hard. 'I am Sanrina, Sanrina, Sanrina" and buried herself back into the persona she had developed as protection. Quickly she started about her business.

Entering his bathing chambers she drew warm water from the underground springs into the bathing area and scented it with musk oil. As the heady fragrance filled the room she moved to his dressing area and drew forth the clothes that he would need today and laid them out.

As she re-entered the bathing area she heard him approaching and immediately lowered her eyes in a sign of submission.

As Ankh-hori entered he noted with satisfaction that Sanrina was present. He had once again requested her to help him bathe and dress. His mother had already admonished him for his fascination with this girl but there was something in her that drew him to her. She had such a beauty and her vunerability was fascinating.

As he walked towards the bathing area he noticed that Sanrina stood rooted to the spot her eyes firmly fixed on the floor. Always the same. Sighing Ankh- hori walked towards her and used his hand to raise her face so that her eyes met his.

His eyes, she could drown in his eyes. Her heart accelerated as she lost herself in his eyes. She almost didn't hear the words that he slowly spoke to her. He wanted her to look him in the eyes.

Suddenly it dawned on her that she was stood before him and that he was naked. A blush started to creep up her face and Ankh-hori felt pleased at this reaction. He walked down into the pool of water and relaxed back letting the tensions of the previous night drain away. Through half closed eye-lids he watched her silently study him for a second then leave the room to tidy the room.

Despite the fact that his mother had explained to him that he would be joined with a symbiote once he had fully recovered from his injuries, part of him wanted to delay that. Sanrina's presence affected him and he knew that once joined his feelings would change on that. He had briefly thought about asking for her to be joined too but knew that honour would never be bestowed on a slave. Let alone a slave of a traitor.

Ankh-hori shifted uneasily in the water. It had been him who had persuaded mother to take her in when she had been on her own. It had been the right thing to do - part of him knew that.

Just as he kept telling himself that it was the right thing to do when he sealed the fate of Judia.

Rising out of the water he waited as Sanrina entered and wrapped a robe about him and then preceeded into the chambers where he would dress. Sanrina lent down and freed the water so that it rushed away down the channels that took it out of the building. As she did the nausea that still affected her now and again returned. Sounds and sights assaulted her for a second and just for a moment she could hear Judith screaming.

'Push it back, push it back' A voice said inside of her. The calm voice of the side that she repressed. 'You can't think of that now, you mustn't lose it, for his sake.' She started up and walked towards his chambers pushing back the memories of the day they executed Judith.

Part Eight

Entering the rest of his chambers Sanrina quickly helped Ankh-hori dress. The nausea quickly faded as she set about her tasks submerging herself into her role again. She could feel his eyes on her as she moved around the room gathering together the things that she knew he would need today.

Ankh-hori turned around and tried to gather his emotions. He was always like this when she was around. Today was the day that his mother's physician would come to see if he was fit for joining. Looking back over the Sanrina he was momentarily lost and for a second he was somewhere else - he was someone else.

"For the love of god Daniel, tell me that you didn't actually drink that stuff?" A man who was familiar yet also a stranger stood before him dressed in clothes unlike any he had seen before. "If you are sick later old Doc Frasier is gonna have my hide."

"Jack, stop treating me like I'm four. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself and it's only juice" Ankh-hori heard himself respond, he could still taste the juice in his mouth, sweet and delicious. "I'm not sure what juice, but it's lovely. Go on try some it won't kill you!"

Glancing round he saw Sanrina, her hair cut short stifling a grin as she watched him and this other man argue "Go on Sam, tell him to try something nutrious for a change! Something that hasn't been brewed by Bud!"

Sam. Sam. He had heard that name before...

Ankh-hori was suddenly aware that he was stood in the middle of the room not moving. He walked towards Sanrina and took the things that she offered him.

She stood and watched him as he walked out of the room without a further word. Something was obviously bothering him and part of her would rather die than see him in pain but it was getting to the point where she was out of ideas.

Walking over to the window she looked out at the planet that had become her home and her prison over the past six months. She was at a lost as to what was going to work. She had been so sure that being around him would be enough to bring back his memories but still there was no sign of Daniel. She now doubted that he even existed anymore. Finishing her tidying of the room, Sanrina moved towards the door and exited.

Walking down the stairs back towards the kitchen and her new friends. She wasn't sure how much longer she could keep going and if she couldn't where she was now to go.

She was lost in a world of strangers.

Ankh-hori sat patiently as the physician examined him. He had been probed and prodded more than he cared during the past few weeks. His mother sat to one side watching him carefully.

"Not much longer my son. You'll see. You are strong and healthy and that cannot change now." She said starting up from her seat and walking around the room restlessly.

"How is he?" She almost snapped "I should have been able to complete the healing myself." She whispered to herself. Tears started to form at her eyes and she felt a hand touch her lightly on the arm.

Turning she faced the physician, one of her closest friends. "You know in these matters that it is better that any injury be healed before joining. And natural healing is the best. You said that yourself. You started what he couldn't do on his own. But it has taken time for his body to recover naturally and that is what you wanted - remember" He prompted. "You felt that the use of the Sarcophagus on him would have been detrimental to his mental welfare. Remember it is addictive to those who are not joined. You wouldn't want that with a head injury like his."

"But is he well now?" She insisted on knowing.

"Perfectly - he hasn't experienced any more dizziness and the pain from light has subsided completely. Apart from the continued memory losses there is nothing wrong with him."

"So he may be joined?" She whispered, hopefully "He will be invincible"

The physician moved closer "Yes he maybe joined. But do you really want that. Remember that joining usually causes the host to be submerged. Are you sure that wouldn't happen here?"

"Look at me" She insisted "I have not submerged. We are equal. We are joined. We are a union that is wondrous. He will not be submerged either. But enriched and empowered." She moved away and started to laugh "We will be together forever."

The physician watched sadly as he realised that this was something she would insist on. She was unstable, he knew that but he loved her as one should. Somehow she had not been overtaken by the symbiotes personality when she had joined but that was something to do with the symbiote itself. When she had tried this before on her real son, he had died during the attempt to integrate the symbiote but restrain it's personality. But no-one would dare tell her that, it was a memory she had carefully hidden from herself. But what would happen when she tried this same experiment with this man here. Losing her son twice might cause her to lose what hold on reality she still had.

"We will celebrate tonight my son. For tomorrow you will be joined." She moved over and embraced him tightly.

Ankh-hori held her back and part of him was ecstatic with the news. This was what he had been waiting for, this is what he wanted more than anything. So why did Sanrina's face haunt him now. Why was these images of strangers calling to him and trying to pull him away from what he knew was his destiny.

Stepping back he gently kissed his mother on the cheek before walking away. Out of the building and into the sun. He needed to clear his mind and think.

The music was beginning to grate on her nerves but Sanrina moved amongst the guests, who were eating and dancing, with a calm face. Another day, another party - a little voice whispered inside and just for a second she was tempted to throw the tray of food she was carrying at the nearest guest.

Breathing deeply she made her way through until she could see Sala by the door. When she reached her she gratefully passed her the tray and Sala took over and started her way through the crowd so that they could take what they wanted from her tray.

Sanrina stood now and surveyed the crowd. Now and again she caught a glimpse of his face wandering through, happy, laughing and she wondered when she had ever seen him like this. So relaxed.

She knew that she had to leave soon. She couldn't stay here anymore and watch him change anymore. Tomorrow, she would see if she could get to the gate - and she would dial any planet should could and get as far away as possible from him. Before she started to hate him.

Clapping filled the air as the queen entered and waited for silence to fill the room.

"Tomorrow my son will join me in eternity." Sighs filled the room at this news "He will become joined like me and help me rule as he was destined to do."

Ankh-hori stepped up next to his mother and addressed the crowd "Tonight we celebrate what I am and what I am to become."

Sanrina stood by the door her face registering the shock despite her best effort not to let it show. 'Daniel - a host - my god, anything but that.' She thought knowing how much Daniel would hate what he would become.

Tears started to blur her vision as she desperately tried to think of a solution, a magical way to make this better. For the last six months to never have happened.

"Sanrina" his voice brought her back to her senses. "Why such a sad face. A beautiful face like yours should never have tears on it." And there he was stood in front of her without her noticing him arriving.

His hand reached over and touched her face wiping the tears that ran down. He watched her silently for a moment and then carefully taking her hand led her from the room and up the stairs.

Her heart pounded as they entered his bedroom and she pondered why on earth he had brought her here. And a very sarcastic voice inside her told her exactly why he had brought her here only to be interrupted as he started to speak.

"I know you. I don't know how I do. But I know you. I have done from that day Judia ..." he paused as he saw the hurt in her eyes at Judia's name. "All I know is that some part of me knows you better than I know myself and I want more than anything to make you happy. How can I stand there and watch you cry. Is it because I am to be joined?" He searched her face and watched as she gently nodded. "You do not think that it is an honour?" This time he watched as she gently shook her head.

Sanrina held her breath. In the past six months since she had come here he had hardly said anything to her. He had flirted with her and watched her often. He often called for her to help him bathe and dress but he had never spoken to her like this. And yet here he was on the eve before becoming a host and now, of all times, now he had decided to open up to her.

This could be trap, this could be her undoing. Answering these types of questions honestly could cost her her life. Looking up she saw Daniel looking back at her, really looking at her and for a second she could pretend that he saw her, Sam.

Daniel stood there and watched this woman that he knew and he knew that what she said in her actions were true. Being joined was a mistake but one that he couldn't see a way out of. All he knew was that in the past few days his feelings for her had grown and if he didn't act on them soon he might explode.

Sam watched as Daniel moved closer to her and his arms slid around her waist, pulling her closer to him. Part of her cried out that she didn't want this. That she didn't want Ankh-hori to do, what she and Daniel hadn't done yet. But part of her looked up and saw Daniel and her last chance to be with him and she surrendered.

His hand wandered up to the back of her neck and drew her close to him as his mouth found hers. The sensation after months of absence of his touch was too much for Sam and her own hands found their way into his hair as she pushed into his gentle kiss and began a far more satisfying kiss of her own. She felt him laugh slightly at this aggressive move but then gasp as her hands moved to other places.

Without giving him a second warning she pushed him hard back onto the bed as he grabbed her and pulled her with him. He rolled over onto her and pinned her down as he started to kiss his way down her body.

Sam surrendered herself to Daniel.

And as she drifted off to sleep in his arms she could forget where they were and who they were. They were just Sam and Daniel and nothing more mattered.

He lay there and watched her as she drifted off to sleep. He couldn't understand where these feelings had suddenly come from but curling up beside her he let that all drift as he slept beside this woman who he knew so well but hardly knew at all.

Part Nine

Sam felt the sleep start to claim her and tried to fight it for a second. This was dangerous and this was the last place to be letting her guard down. But being held by Daniel was just too much and her body slipped down into sleep.

Ankh-hori watched Sanrina as she slept. Almost three hours had passed since she had slipped into sleep and now she was starting to become agitated. He moved closer to her to try and offer her comfort. As he touched her she sat upright in bed her breathing wild. Sobs tore from her chest, tears pouring down her face.

He drew her to his chest gently rocking her trying to ease her from her nightmare. She wasn't fully awake yet and the cries still came. He suddenly recognised that he was hearing words. Quiet, foreign yet clearly words.

Sanrina suddenly came to and realised where she was. Looking over towards Ankh- hori sadness crossed her face followed by confusion.

Fear was on his face and her heart that was still pounding from the memories started to pound faster.

Ankh-hori knew that knew that the room was bugged. His mother was never entirely trusting with him and he knew that it was for his safety. But he also knew that the guards would have heard the words that Sanrina had spoken. Words that she shouldn't be able to utter. He knew that the guards would be here any second and that they didn't have much time.

Sam sat there in his bed her mind trying to process all the rushing emotions. Something was obviously wrong, she could from just watching Daniel. Memories or no memories his body language hadn't changed. But her mind couldn't let go of the fact that she was there in his bed and what had happened before.

Suddenly Daniel left the bed and moved quickly across the room and opened a compartment to remove a ceremonial knife. Turning to face Sam he spoke two words that chilled her through with the realisation that they brought.

"You spoke."

Part Ten

Jack sat watching the ripples moving across the surface of the lake while his mind kept drifting between the present and the past.

For a second he glanced across at Teal'c who sat next to him. Despite Teal'c earlier reluctance since they lost their friends this had become a regular occurrence.

Jack fished and Teal'c meditated. Candles burnt in jars around them and although Jack had first objected even he had come to appreciate the musky calming scent. Not to mention the fact that the mosquito residents objected so strongly they no longer bothered them.

Jack found these times that they shared the only constant in his life and for that he was grateful. It was an enormous comfort that he wished that he could have shared with the people that he had lost. He wasn't sure what Teal'c found on these days that they shared but he was always there, ready, bag in hand when it was time to go to the lake.

Although he was deep in meditation Teal'c was acutely aware of Jack. Although he never showed it he had grown to enjoy these lakeside moments and the calm that they had brought his friend. Jack's friends had watched after the loss of Judith and Sam with a horror as they were sure he would lose himself. But Jack had surprised them all with his ability to turn himself around. He had deeply mourned them and still did but he had made sound decisions and stayed at the SGC as part of the training division.

Teal'c opened his eyes and glanced around him and his eyes met Jack's. Jack smiled and Teal'c nodded a small smile on his face and he turned his eyes back to watch the water and the ripples.

Sam watched as Daniel moved his way across the room silently. Seeing the slight fear in her eyes he gestured that she should be silent still as he made his way to the door.

He needn't have worried about her saying anything. For nearly seven months she had been silent and it was a habit that she couldn't easily break.

Listening carefully Sam could hear the guards approaching the door and every nerve in her was telling her to run.

One guard stepped through the door staff weapon drawn ready to take action against Sam. Turning to Daniel he whispered something before training his weapon back on Sam. Daniel nodded and turned as if to leave the room. As he stepped behind the guard he drew the knife.

Sam couldn't say for certain what happened next. She remembered Daniel grabbing the guard and she remembered jumping over the bed to help him and the scuffle as the three of them collided. The next moment there was blood and a dead guard. She saw the shocked look on Daniel's face and knew that despite the fact that he thought he was someone called Ankh-hori and his memories were gone he still loathed killing. He had never been afraid to take up a weapon and defend himself or his team mates but she had remembered him confessing his hatred of the need to kill.

Looking up, Daniel's face set into one of determination and he grabbed Sam's hand. He wasn't sure why but he knew that he would defend her to the bitter end and despite the fact he was betraying his mother and world he wouldn't see her executed. "We must move quickly, others will be coming." He said waiting to see if she would talk again, almost desperate to hear her voice. But he realised that whatever had held her tongue for the past months was going to hold for some time still.

Moving quickly out of the door they headed down the corridor as fast as they could and tried to exit the building without raising any suspicions amongst the few locals who were about. But as soon as they were clear of the square they ran as fast as they could, already knowing what the location of their destination without discussing it. The Stargate.

Daniel knew that it would be an amazing feat to reach the gate unmolested. His mother's guards always patrolled the woods around the gate and it was never unguarded. If he had more time he would have some plan but his feet and the panic he felt at the thought of harm coming to this woman kept him moving.

Sam nearly tripped trying to keep up with Daniel as he ran for their lives. Part of her kept telling her that it couldn't be this easy, that one moment she was in a situation where she couldn't ever see getting through to Daniel and now here he was pulling her across the countryside towards the gate. Towards the freedom that Judith and her had wanted so much.

Judith - a lump came to her throat as she thought of the fact that she wasn't here on this mad dash for freedom. That she wasn't here to see Daniel confused but obviously breaking free of the control that the G'ouald had imposed on him.

Her feet hurt and her lungs protested this forced exercise. During the past six months the work had been gruelling but the military fitness had been dropped and she was now regretting this. As the Gate came into sight she was immensely greatful.

As they approached the Gate Daniel looked around fearful. This was far too easy and they still hadn't been challenged. He watched as this woman he had grown protective off approached the gate cautiously and looked at the dialling device trying to figure out what symbols to dial.

It finally hit him that she wasn't from this world. No slave would know how to use the device let along know the co-ordinates of another planet.

Sam finally remembered the co-ordinates she needed to dial and started hitting the controls as fast as she could. Watching as the gate activated she was momentarily mesmerised by the water effect. Part of her expected to wake up and find herself back in the quarters within the palace. Turning to watch Daniel she stood there and watched the open worry that was on his face. Holding out her hand she waited for him to take it.

"This is too easy." He said reaching out and taking her hand. Both of them stepped up towards the gate and without looking back stepped through.

Jack was walking towards the control room of the gate room to check on the latest trainee missions that had been carried out on PX 4536-10. As he rounded the corner he saw the General talking to one of the lieutenants about the latest statistics he had been coming to get.

The lieutenant looked up as he heard Jack come in.

"Colonel." the lieutenant acknowledged him

"Lieutenant, General" Jack responded.

"Colonel" General Hammond replied with a slight smile on his face. "The latest trainees are coming along nicely..." he was interrupted by the sirens sounding heralding an incoming wormhole.

Looking over to Jack he frowned as they realised that there was no-one due in right now.

"Any GDO signal lieutenant?" Hammond enquired.

"None sir, I'm scanning all frequencies but there is no signal off any kind

"Then do not open that iris." Hammond said turning to Jack "We haven't had any attacks on this facility in a long time - what do you think?"

"Can't take the chance General - the iris stays shut." Jack said his eyes remaining fixed to the gate. He had this funny feeling, and he wanted to take that chance and open the iris but his training held steady.

Minutes seemed to pass and the wormhole stayed established. They waited part dreading the noise that would indicate an impact on the iris but wondering what or who could be travelling towards them.

There was a slight shimmer and then Lya stepped through the iris.

"Hold your fire!" Jack shouted to the gate room as he rushed down the stairs to enter the room.

Almost running up to see her - he paused a smile spreading across his face. He was genuinely pleased to see a member of the nox - a peaceful but powerful race.

"Lya - welcome." He said reaching out to take her outstretched hands.

"Thank you Colonel O'Neill." Glancing at the guards whose weapons were still drawn she looked back to him with a slight smile but reproachful look.

Jack raised his eyebrows and gave an apologetic glance. "What can we do for you Lya"

"A few days ago some old friends of yours and ours came to our planet - exhausted and one in need of treatment. It was debated whether we should contact you but knowing that they cannot return because of your defence systems I volunteered to travel here and bring you to see them."

Jack closed his eyes as a rush of adrenaline and pure joy rushed through him. "My god. They are alive" he said looking back at her "They are alive?" he almost questioned this time as if he was going to wake up and find this all too be a dream.

"Yes they are. Though the one you call Carter is emotionally exhausted and in need of your care. We cannot heal her beyond the minor injuries she suffered but she will not talk to us." Lya stepped even closer to Jack her voice dropping "She hurts in a way that only you can heal."

Jack had to hold still to contain his emotion as everything flooded within him. He barely noticed that the General had stepped up to them and was talking to him.

"Colonel? Jack?" he prompted again waiting until he knew that he had his full attention. "Teal'c is on his way."

"Permission to.." Jack started

"Granted" the General interrupted - the happiness plain on his face.

Jack looked up as Teal'c entered the room and nodded to him as he turned with Lya to face the gate as it shut down and then re-activated with an outgoing wormhole.

Jack stood on the nox homeworld and breathed in the air there. It was a truly beautiful place. Following Lya they approached the camp that they had discovered the last time they had visited - almost 4 years ago.

Walking through the forests he was amazed at how it only seemed like yesterday that they were here and the frustration he felt at trying to protect this race was so easily remembered.

Coming to the hut that Lya indicated Jack was almost afraid to go in. To see Sam again. What would she be like? Stepping in he was surprised to see that she was just the same as he remembered. Okay her hair was longer and she had some funny looking beads in it but she was still Sam.

Looking at Teal'c who had now entered the room he wondered how to approach her. Stuck in his observations he hardly noticed Teal'c move across the room to kneel in front of Sam who was lost in her own world, sat with her back against a wall of sorts. He gently reached up and touched her face to attract her attention.

"Major Carter" he began in that soft voice.

Sam's eyes cleared and she finally saw them and tears threatened to brim over and the military part of her struggled for control.

As Jack moved towards her he thought that nothing should feel this good when someone he cared about so deeply was feeling so bad.

"Sam" his said as he joined Teal'c in front of her. It was too much for Sam and she threw her arms around them both.

"Hi guys" she whispered.

Jack moved around so he was sat next to her and Teal'c did the same. They sat there for several moments both holding her from the side letting her feel safe. And yet Jack was itching to see Daniel and Judith. He couldn't wait to see the others but he knew from the little that Lya was saying that some of them were hurt. Trust it to be Daniel - he half thought with a smile.

"Sam I don't mean to push but where are the others and can we see them." Jack could have kicked himself at the pain that immediately showed on Sam's face.

"Oh Jack.." she whispered not knowing how to tell him what had happened on the planet, what had happened to the woman he now classed as a good friend.

"Daniel Jackson is resting. His head injuries were severe though not life threatening" a soft voice said from the door and they saw that Lya was there.

"What injuries?" Teal'c enquired.

"He had been affected by a G'ouald hand device. And some pathways in his brain had been damaged and that had affected his memory. We have repaired the injuries but his memory of his time on the planet is fragmented." Lya smiled trying to project re-assurance to the worried friends.

"Is Judith keeping him company" Jack enquired turning back to Sam but something in him was already whispering doubts. One look at Sam's face told him more than words could.

"Jack... Judith's dead" Sam said straight not hiding behind words that would do nothing to soften the blow. "They discovered she wasn't who she said she was and they executed her."

Both Jack and Teal'c sat quiet for a moment absorbing what Sam had just said.

"But you got away?" Jack said relieved but his voice full of the anger he was feeling.

Sam briefly described what had happened that day her voice full of emotion and anger. "She didn't know they were going to kill her. I know that she was thinking the same thing as me and that was to buy some time. But Jack - that bitch made Daniel choose and he didn't know any better. He ordered the execution... he..." her voice broke as Sam had to relive those last moments that she had kept buried.

Sam never thought it possible to see Jack turn grey but there was no other way to describe the colour he had gone. Teal'c as well looked on shocked at what she had described.

"There's something I have to ask of you two." Sam said "The nox healed him but he doesn't remember everything yet. And I don't want him to. If he doesn't remember it I will never tell him."

"You could have lied to us Sam" Jack said his voice just above a whisper.

"I could never lie to either of you about this." Sam said "Judith deserves for people to know how she died. But Daniel doesn't deserve that kind of pain"

"Does he know that she is dead?" Teal'c asked.

Sam nodded. "I told him that yesterday. As soon as he woke up I told him everything that I thought he should know about what happened to him."

"Now what?" Jack asked wondering how they were all coping with the sudden rush of events anger clouding his mind and his judgement. He wanted nothing more than to find the woman who had put his two friends through this and squeeze the life out of her.

He felt Sam's hand on him trying to calm what she saw in his eyes. "Jack, now we go home."

Epilogue

Two weeks after the nox had come calling for Jack he stood with Daniel by a simple marker at the cemetery. It bore Judith's name.

"She should never have risked everything for me." Daniel said his voice still full of hurt.

Jack looked at him. Two weeks on and Daniel still didn't remember that much of what had happened on the planet and Janet said that the chance of his memory returning in full was unlikely. The CAT scan had showed small areas of damage still despite the Nox's healing attempt.

Janet had let him out of the infirmary when the others had agreed to take care of him. But Daniel was angry, confused and wanting answers that they couldn't give him.

"Daniel you've got to let this go." Jack tried not to flinch as Daniel turned round anger in his eyes. Jack stopped the tirade he knew was coming before it started. "Sam feels more guilt than you could ever imagine and you have to understand that and accept this. She needs you Daniel and you have done nothing but push her away."

The fire died in Daniel "I love her Jack. I really haven't been doing a good job of showing her that. But I do remember some things from that planet and I am ashamed at how I treated her. And yet she still stick with me." Daniel shook his head "What did I ever do to deserve such a wonderfully caring yet incredibly strong woman like her?"

"Damned if I know you're a geek - with allergies" Jack said laughter showing in eyes.

Daniel grinned and turned back to the marker "You know Jack someone else once said that too me."

Sam walked into the General's office and stood there, uncomfortable in her uniform after months in a simple dress.

"You wanted to see me sir." She said as she entered.

"Yes Major, the doctor informs me that you will be ready to return to light duties next week. I am reminding you that you are too stick to those duties for the next month and we will then review your situation."

"SG1 sir, will we be re-instated together?"

"I said we will review the situation in a month Major. I don't see there being a problem but we will have to wait and see how you all re-adjust to being back together. Personally Colonel O'Neill has been much more bearable since he started taking things a little easier." Hammond joked.

"Yes sir" Sam said trying to feel the humor but finding things still incredibly difficult.

Hammond sat there something clearly on his mind.

"Major I've debated whether this is a good idea but I think that I have a duty to give this to you." He reached into his desk drawer and took out an envelope with her name on hit.

Sam recognised the writing as Judith on the envelope and wondered what the letter was.

"She told me to give this to you if she shouldn't return and Major.." Hammond waited until he had her full attention "she said to tell you that she meant what she had written there whether you were successful in retrieving Doctor Jackson or not."

"Yes sir." Sam stepped out the office clutching the envelope. She didn't dare open it until she was safely in her lab where she felt safe.

When she did read it contained only 4 words.

"It was worth it."

She watched as Daniel and Sam ran up to the gate. Sam was dialing as fast as she could but Daniel was looking around puzzlement on his face.

For a moment she thought he wouldn't go with her that he would send her through on her own.

But then he stepped through and they were gone, the gate de-activating.

Sighing with relief she felt the fear return but she calmed it away with one thought.

No matter what happened now it had been worth it.

The End

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