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Beginnings
Warnings: Post Meridian Fic - if you don't like Meridian fic you should probably back away now. Although this does have Teal'c in a Santa hat.
Author's Notes: I'm insane and this probably proves it. Danny leaves so I turn to fic - sigh he's never gone in my universe.
Disclaimer: Anything that is theirs, isn't mine.
Feedback: Yes please, feedback makes me glow (though not in the Danny sense).
Sam stood outside the door with her gifts in her hand. Sighing she reached out and knocked again wondering what was keeping Jack so long but hearing the music from inside realised that he probably couldn't hear her.
Wondering if she should go around to the back of the house and see if she could find him she jumped as the door suddenly opened in front of her.
"Sam!" he practically yelled pulling her in. She was suddenly immersed in a wash of colours and sound. Tinsel and lights decorated most surfaces and a Christmas sound blasted out from speakers in every room.
Glancing at Jack she briefly wondered if he had been taken over by aliens. Jack normally didn't celebrate Christmas with this much enthusiasm as it reminded him too much of Charlie. But this year he seemed to have gotten into the swing of it and then some.
As she rounded into the next room she burst out laughing so hard. Teal'c was sat there with a Santa's hat on his head dressed in read and green.
"Ho ho ho, Major Carter" he said in a well rehearsed voice.
"Teal'c! You could've have sounded a little more spontaneous!" Jack glared then turned round to look at Sam who was stood there grinning at them both, tears in her eyes. Suddenly she walked up to them both and grabbed them hard in a great big hug.
"Merry Christmas guys" she said her voice nearly breaking.
Too say he was surprised was a little of an understatement. Jack was amazed, the change in Sam from yesterday to today was amazing. He couldn't believe that this was the woman that he watched go home yesterday from the SGC.
"Carter" Jack jogged after her as she trudged through the corridors of SGC trying to escape from this underground prison. The weariness that radiated from her was the same that had been around over the past few months.
She turned to look at Jack as she approached and he was startled by how red her eyes were and he knew that she had been crying again.
"Sam" he started more gently this time. "you will come tomorrow won't you. Teal'c is looking forward to trying this Christmas lark"
"Sir.." Sam started and Jack knew that she was on the verge of telling him to go away. But then she changed her mind "Why are we doing this this year. We've never really celebrated Christmas before." Then looking him deep in the eyes she asked the question that he knew he was going to have to answer at some point "Why is it that we never did this when Daniel was here?"
Jack closed his eyes against the ache that started at the sound of his name but his voice remained soft "We always planned to but then something always came up. Now that he is not here anymore I realised that this was the one thing that I really would have loved us to try out." Jack shook his head a smile coming to his head "You know Daniel he would have regaled us with stories of how the pagans or the 19th Century Europeans used to celebrate Christmas. He would have had a field day with this."
Sam looked away as the tears threatened to start again. "Sam.." Jack started his hand reaching out to touch her. But she moved away from him and started towards the elevator again.
As the doors opened she turned to look at Jack again "I can't get past this Jack. You, Teal'c, Janet, you all seemed to have been able to find peace with what happened to Daniel." The pain was visible on her face now "but I can't get past the fact that he is gone Jack." And with that she stepped onto the elevator and was gone.
Jack stood there and whispered to himself "Not gone Sam, he's never been gone."
That night - Christmas eve and she had completed all her little chores. The last of the presents were wrapped and she had eaten her microwave dinner.
Sitting down on her couch she wondered how she had come to this. She had always thought that one day she would be watching her family run around on a night like tonight and that she would be watching them with her soul mate.
Daniel. He never knew that she had grown to love him more than life itself. She had looked into those eyes that first day on Abydos and had realised that she could almost see his soul. But he was devoted to Shauri. And his devotion was the most amazing thing about him.
Then things had changed and the feelings she had kept under check grew from that spark into a roaring fire that consumed her. They had met Machello. And he had almost taken Daniel from her and that had been the trigger. But still she had held back.
He had turned to her once after Shauri had died. Drunk he had come to her place and they had talked long into the night and he had suddenly pushed into her, his lips on her. His hands pulling her tight into his arms. And for a second she had melted and responded. Her hands holding him as tight as he held her, her tongue pushing her way into his mouth with a passion that surprised her. It was only when his hands had pulled at her top, his hands wandering to her breasts that she had suddenly realised that this wasn't what she wanted. Not him drunk and mourning his wife.
She wanted him to come to her as an equal and for it too be purely about them and no-one else. So she had pushed him away and Daniel had looked at her with those blue eyes and his tears falling down his face.
The next day he had apologised believing, in his sober state, that he had been the only participant in their entanglement.
And then he had died? Evolved? Ascended? Her mind still didn't grasp the concept. Only that he was gone from her life before they had had a chance to explore their friendship further, to deepen those feelings she was sure they had both been harbouring. That fact tore at her every night and crushed her inside her soul. Her best friend and the man she loved with every ounce of her heart was gone.
"Drunk! I should just get drunk" She declared getting up from the couch and headed towards the beer in the fridge. Taking the beer from the fridge she then grabbed the bottle opener but just as she was about to open it a voice cut through her.
"Don't do that. You are never a great drunk Sam" the soft voice said.
Turning round Sam froze at the sight that greeted her. Almost in slow motion the bottle slipped from her hand and smashed on the floor below.
"Oh god!" she whispered her eyes wide, her brain refusing to believe what it was seeing as her body automatically backed away from it. She found herself starting to hyperventilate and so ended up holding her breath in an effort to bring herself under control.
Daniel took a step towards her, a worried expression on his face. "Sam? Take it easy!" he tried not to yell as he realised that she was really having trouble dealing with his appearance. Worried he stepped through the worktop in his haste to get to her and make sure she was okay but realised that that probably wasn't the best thing to do as she paled even further.
"Yeah that solid thing - I have to do that." He realised, closing his eyes and concentrated. To Sam it could only be described as if he became more in focus. And then he was there, holding her and leading her back to the couch. He sat her down then knelt down in front of her, his eyes never leaving hers.
"Wow!" she breathed realising that she wasn't been her most eloquent. But she just couldn't believe that he was here in front of her and looking as gorgeous as she remembered.
"I am dreaming." She said closing her eyes "I have fallen asleep and this is all a dream"
"Sam?" a rather annoyed voice said "do you really think that that is going to work. Please open your eyes so I can talk to you."
She opened her eyes and once again found herself staring into the incredible eyes of Daniel. "Daniel?" her hands reaching out of their own accord and touching his face gently.
"Yes its me."
Sam frowned and tried to think things through. "Okay so lets just say for arguments sake that I'm not dreaming. What are you doing here? And how did you get here? And where have you been and.." Daniel's fingers gently touched her lips silencing the flow of questions that he could see were about to flood out and overwhelm them both.
"Well you are definitely not dreaming and I came here to see you. I got here by a process so involved that even I'm not sure and I did it and I've been ... well that's complicated too but I've been around lets say."
Suddenly she leant forward and grabbed him the most ferocious hug. Daniel relaxed and leant into her embrace as Sam tried so hard not to cry. Gently he rocked her and waited for her to get her emotions back under control.
Sam just sat there holding him, smelling him, feeling him and decided she didn't care if it was a dream. Pushing gently she sat back and looked him in the eyes.
"Right and the reason you just so suddenly and mysteriously reappear on Christmas eve like some 1940's movie is..?" She paused waiting for a response.
Daniel's eyes saddened as his hand ran down her face and back around to her neck, gently caressing her.
"Because you are in pain Sam. You are in so much pain and I feel it."
"And you just happened to be in my part of the galaxy and decided to drop in?" She quipped before her brain backed up and realised exactly what he had said "You feel my pain?"
Daniel moved up and sat next to her on the couch "Yes. It's confusing to try and explain but if I want I can hear everything or anyone, I can know anything but not without some serious drawbacks" he quipped thinking back to the time Shifu had given him all of his knowledge "so I don't do that! But I've always been listening for you. I hear you when you talk to me when no-one is around. I hear your thoughts sometimes and I feel the pain. Especially the past few days. And because I feel it, the others feel it. And they couldn't stand by and do nothing and neither could I, so here I am."
He made it all sound so simple and confusing at the same time and she was wondering whether to smack him or hug him again when he leant over and kissed her on the lips softly.
She held her breath, closing her eyes briefly as she enjoyed the sensation of his warm lips on hers. The softness, the gentleness of it all. She tried not to show her disappointment when he pulled back.
He looked her in the eyes again running his hand up her arm "I wanted to let you know that I love you too. And although I can't be with you now that I am always here for you and I will always love you. You are the other half too me and I thought that if I stayed away you could go on without me. But you haven't. And I couldn't stay away any longer."
Sam smiled and put her arms around Daniel to hold him tight. Part of her was still afraid that she would wake up any moment but deep down she knew that this was real and that Daniel had just told her that he loved her. He knew her thoughts and he loved her too. And suddenly she was turning bright red! He knew her thoughts!! Oh My God!
Daniel pulled back to see the horrified look on Sam's face.
"You could hear my thoughts? Oh God - Daniel some of that stuff is private!"
And suddenly Sam found herself faced with a Daniel with a wicked gleam in his eyes as he leaned in his mouth brushing against her ear as he whispered to her.
"How could I turn the chance to read you thoughts and the General's desk Sam?? Honestly if we had tried that we could have been court martialed"
Sam's face turned ever redder but for some reason she wasn't that bothered. Daniel was looking at her with this expression that sent shivers down her spine and started something burning inside.
"Daniel?" she enquired innocently.
"Yes Sam?"
"How solid are you?" she started grinning at him as that wicked look spread across his whole face.
Daniel moved towards her and she quietly prayed that if this were a dream she wouldn't wake up before she was done!
The next morning Sam awoke and for a second her mind told her it was a dream. That was until she felt someone looking at her. Rolling over she looked into Daniel's eyes and found herself smiling before she realised it.
"Hello Gorgeous" he whispered his mouth moving forward to capture hers in a brief kiss.
Sam relaxed into his hold but she could sense that he was worried about something and she pulled back to look into his eyes. She already knew what was coming but for some reason it didn't bother her like she thought it would.
"Sam, I have to go soon. I'm sorry I thought I would have longer but the others are coming." Daniel's eyes were filled with such sadness and worry at leaving her again.
"I know" she whispered "Please don't worry yourself so much Daniel. I knew last night that you couldn't stay. You have so much to do now."
"I do." He agreed "But I would give it up tomorrow to have one more day with you."
"But you know that I wouldn't want that." She said "you need to do this Daniel, you need to be what you've become." And although she sounded brave she knew that her heart was breaking.
"I love you Sam, and I can always hear you." His voice was nearly breaking "and I will be back. I don't know when but I will be coming home." He broke off for a second. "They're here."
Sam clung to him for a second holding him close not ever wanting to let go. "You do what you must do Daniel, but then you come back to me." She whispered "I love you."
"Always and forever." He said and suddenly he was not there but she was surrounded by light and she knew that was him. He filled her entirely and surrounded her and she felt everything and knew everything about him for a moment. And then he was gone.
She lay there for a while eyes closed and focus on the memories and feelings that she had just gotten from Daniel. Brief glimpses of his life and the memories he had gained over the past few months. His feelings towards her and she knew without a doubt that he loved her and that he would always be there if she really needed him. She knew that she just had to need him for him to be there.
Gently getting to her feet she made her way to the bathroom but paused in the doorway before going in his words echoing in her mind "I can always hear you."
"Daniel Jackson if you are listening to my thoughts right now you better give me some privacy. A girl's got to have some secrets and the bathroom ritual is one I would like to have right now"
Grinning to herself she walked in and shut the door.
Jack looked at her as she stepped back out of the hug she had been giving him and Teal'c and couldn't stop wondering what had happened to change her.
As if she could read his mind she smiled again "I just realised that he is always here. He maybe gone but he has always been here as well."
Jack smiled and hugged her again before stepping back to look at both her and Teal'c "Of course he is. He's now an enlightened being with super power. Hey he's super Danny!" Grinning he ducked back as Sam aimed a playing blow at his arm.
"Careful Jack he might hear you!"
"Indeed Colonel O'Neill in our legends those who moved on to the next stage knew all and heard all, perhaps you should be more careful about what you say about Daniel Jackson."
Jack grinned at his friends as he moved towards the Christmas tree.
"Yeah? Hey Daniel - when you've finished playing with your new friends remember to drop by and visit your old ones just now and again!" Jack yelled to the ceiling. As he glanced back over he was amused to see Sam blushing just a little.
Sam sat there as Jack bounced around like a kid at Christmas and Teal'c watched as only he could and realised that she was with her family now.
Daniel's ascension hadn't been an ending for them, it had just been a beginning. A beginning of what they would finally become.
The End
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